Murphy's Law (Or, Diana Goes To Her First Professional Audition)

The idea behind Murphy's Law is most simply understood as the idea that anything that can go wrong will go wrong.  I like to equate it to Scar's Epic Failure once he takes over the Pride Lands.

I can't come up with any other reason for the random drought.

I didn't know that when I went to my first professional audition this weekend with Ariel, Bambi, McQueen, and Amelia.  It was planned perfectly from the start.  We'd leave our campus at 7:15, get to the audition at 10, audition at 10:30, ta-da we'll be done before call for the show back on campus that night!  In the sense of plans, we were golden.

We even left on time.  We piled into Amelia's car and started driving.  Smooooth sailing while McQueen and I argued.

McQueen:  We're going to do a dance from Oh My God because it's uptempo.
Diana:  Yes, but there's no dance break in it.  It's going to be What You Want, because that has a huuuuge dance number in it.

And then Murphy's Law happened.

Ariel:  Ummm what's that noise?
Amelia:  Oh, sh-(akespeare)!

We pull over and discover something interesting.  Something had slashed open one of the car's tires.

I blamed the Gorignak, obviously.

McQueen:  Alright, I'll change the tire.

Diana:  Yay!  I'm so glad we brought a man along.

(outside the car, we hear McQueen drop something and hear it bounce and hit the bumper of the car)

Diana:  ...never mind.

After a while, we got bored waiting for him inside of the car and went outside.  It was cold.

Ariel:  Guys it's cold.

Bambi:  If you look at McQueen, he kinda looks like Gollum.

Ariel:  Gollum is what's hiding under a Death Eater's cape!

I always knew they'd work well together.

We wait a few more minutes.  McQueen gets cold, so I stand in front of him and block him from the wind.  Ariel?  She found cows.

Ariel:  MOOO!!!!  COWS MOO MOO COW MOO!!!  (she pauses)  Oh no they're staring at me.

Bambi:  If we get offed by the cow mafia, I'm blaming you.

Somehow, we manage to get the donut tire on the car and drive the rest of the way to the audition.  Because, yknow, we didn't realize that going 70 on a Not Real Tire is a bad idea.  How we didn't die is beyond me.

We finally get to the audition with ten minutes to spare.  We get dressed and ready and walk in with our groups; Amelia waits in the lobby for us.  She's such a faithful Non-PA (not Performing Arts student).  All of our auditions went well, but some other people's auditions...didn't.  Someone literally sat in a chair, put her legs together, and pretended to be a mermaid while singing Part of Your World.

And no.  I'm not joking.

Another lady held up signs while she sang, telling the director to hire her or else.  That one was actually a little bit scary; I didn't know whether I should laugh or feel threatened.

Anyway, we sang and then quickly changed clothes for the dance audition.  Our dance is a really really uptempo song that's to...that's right, What You Want from Legally Blonde.

The interaction between McQueen and I was just like this.

The dancing could've gone a lot worse.  It's when we made our way to Amelia to go back to campus that we received some news.  We had to find a place that sold tires, because driving up the mountains on a donut tire was Not a Good Idea.

And off we went, searching like adventurers, wandering through the unknown.  Having a GPS made us feel better.  But when we used it...we found places like this:

McQueen:  That's sketch ball change.

Then the GPS led us to nowhere, literally.  It said we made it to a Texaco.

Ariel:  If that's a Texaco, then I'm Michael Jackson.

McQueen:  We're hitting the bad part of town. Not cool.

Diana:  Shush, you're gonna get us shot.

McQueen:  Lynched.  There's a difference.

Bambi:  What?

McQueen:  We're in the ghetto.

Bambi:  Oh, a'ight.

We finally thought about going and asking a local person for directions.  So we found a gas station and sent Ariel in to ask for directions.  I spied Bambi staring, wide-eyed, at a car.

Diana:  What?

Bambi:  Shh, don't make any sudden movements.  It's a Decepticon.

The two of us scared, feeling the fear that only a Decepticon can bring, when an all white van pulls up on the other side of us.

Yknow, like the ones creepers lure kids into!

Amelia locks the car doors and we wait for Ariel to come back, while McQueen laughs at our paranoia all the while.  Then we see Ariel scurry out of the gas station and leap into the car.

Ariel:  Creepy old man hitting on Ariel.  NOT OKAY.

Finally, finally, FINALLY we find a place that sells tires (who knew that I'd actually be thankful to have Walmart around?) and get it put on and get our butts back to campus.  Thirty minutes before showtime's call.

So yeah.  I survived that audition.  Like a champ.